a picture of the tumblr icon in the app store. next to it it says ‘Tumblr — Culture, Art, Chaos’ and underneath it says ‘Hellsite (affectionate)’. 268k people have reviewed the app.
End ID]
They got tired of us making fun of home of fandom and they’re trying again
Am I following my dreams or am I following a hyper fixation that will change in a month?
Right now, I am following my photography fixation. I work for an equestrian event photographer, sorting photos so that riders can find their own photos easily. It is boring work, it does not pay great. But he pays my hotel, I get to travel and there’s opportunity to learn photography and see up close how to turn it into a business.
I am also taking an internship with a portrait photographer in my town. She has done everything in the business. This gives me a chance to learn many different skills, know what I need, learn the actual business and paperwork side, the marketing, how to build it- all that. Its only like… a few hours a week, but its paid.
I should be over the frickin moon. I’ve been a hobbyist for six years, taken thousands of photos, learned parts of a camera on my own and how to use them. Haven’t made much money on it, but any money for art is encouraging.
This is a thing that I am passionate about.
Why??? Am I??? So unsure about it???
Because what if I learn all this stuff, put all this energy into it, spend money, spend effort, spend time…and I end up going back to customer service because I lose interest?
And of course the answer is… go back to customer service with a new skill that no one else has, knowing much much more about photography and horses and tax deductions than the average person.
Logically, I know that there is nothing wrong with an adventure. It’s good for me to take weird jobs and learn new things. But ‘what if I lose interest’ is also 'what if I let people down?’
But also im nervous because I’m three hours away from my girlfriend, sleeping in a hotel paid for by a couple that spends hours ranting about horse knees. And none of this feels dangerous, but it is all very strange to me.
Anyway, thanks for letting me rant about ambition for a minute.
Remember being like eleven years old and just filled with primordial rage. I think I could have killed a man with my bare hands when I was eleven. What was up with that
![renniequeer:
“radicalgraff:
“ “Do Gay Be Crimes”
Seen in Boulder, Colorado
”
[ID: the above phrase, spray painted in red on a wall beside the circle-A anarchy symbol. End ID.]
”](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6fcc2efa68a0900adb3756eb7edb36ba/efbc786f541db0c9-1b/s1280x1920/c479a72f915be86d0ed555af1aaf394e1f95aafd.jpg)
